Adolescence is not enough

Our CEO/Co-founder, Thomas Lynch, reflects on the TV show.

The Netflix hit, Adolescence is great and it’s heartbreaking. If you’ve got the chance to watch, it's definitely worth your time. 

If you don’t know what it’s about - a 13 year old boy is accused of murdering a female fellow student from school. It’s shocking for everyone, most of all his family.

Eddie Miller (Steven Graham) and Jamie Miller (Owen Cooper) from Adolescence - Netflix

The performances from all the cast are really great, especially the 13 year old boy, and his dad, played by Stephen Graham. The crux of the story is that the boy has been radicalised over social media, sucked into the incel culture. 

Incel is defined as: “a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active.”

Incel culture is all over the world. In Adolescence, as the family searches for a reason as to why their boy would do this, the dad in particular wonders whether he’s to blame. Did he work too much? Was he too soft on his boy? etc. Both the boy and dad struggle to contain their anger, and the Dad talks of his trauma filled upbringing. Adolescence is only 4 hours long, so it could never answer all the questions and explain everything. It’s a brilliant snapshot of what can go wrong.

For me the biggest failing of Adolescence is, so what? What can we do about it? And perhaps that’s unfair, as I said it’s only 4 hours long. I’ve worked in the Scottish charity sector for nearly 14 years. We’ve been having the same conversations all that time. Boys are in crisis, boys are failing, boys are…

This is true. The question is, what are we going to do about it? 

We are at a crossroads with our children, and we need to step up and take action. Here’s a few things I think we need to do:

1. Keep our children close, speak with them as they are growing up, help them understand what’s normal in relationships and keep checking in. 

2. The cliche is that it takes a village to raise a child, I believe this. Sometimes I’ve seen families say ‘that’s the school's job’. Schools are busy, and have a vital part to play. I'd say parents, siblings and other family members have more of a part to play. After all by the time your children are ready for school, they already have a good sense of right and wrong.

3. Keep them off the internet/social media for as long as possible. If they play games on tablets or game consoles, fine, but keep a close eye on if they are speaking with other people. Ensure your parental controls are in place. If you don’t know how to do this, ask us at Dads Rock, or spend some time doing your own research.

4. Get some experts, families etc round a table and come up with more suggestions. We need to talk about this more and come up with a national strategy on what we want to do about the radicalisation of our children. 

We need to take action on social media. According to the US Surgeon General, 95% of children aged 13-17 use social media. Unregulated and unchecked access to social media is harming our young people. 

Social media is addictive. It’s made that way. One study found that the “pull-to-refresh” feature seen in a number of social media platforms mimics the motion and variable reward schedule of a slot machine”. Designers also integrate ‘stopping cues’ in their platforms, to encourage users to stay active. Unchecked, companies will continue to find ways to keep people active and engaged in social media. 

Also children and young people are going through huge changes as they age, including brain development. One study said: “Social media activity has been likened by neuroscientists to a dopamine needle being inserted directly into the body.” Young people today experience unnatural levels of neurotransmitters, their brain morphology is changing as a result.   

Recently Australia grabbed the headlines by approving a social media ban on those aged under 16. They confirmed it would be at least 12 months before the ban comes in, showing serious intent, although the details remain unclear. France and Italy have also introduced laws to tighten up access. Although feedback on how this is working is hard to find. The World Health Organisation has issued concern over public health, and said: “The scope of this problem has reached the magnitude of a significant public health concern in some jurisdictions.” 

To date, the UK government has left the decision on whether to ban phones in school up to head teachers. In Scotland the government has said it is considering a ban in schools, but no further action has been taken. Powers regarding online content are reserved at Westminster. 

Adolescence is a good place to start. Don’t stop there, for the benefit of all of our children and families the time for action is now.