Young Dad story
Iain was referred to us in March 2021 as father to a 1 year old separated from the mother. He was struggling with low confidence as a dad and finding it difficult to maintain consistent contact with his daughter. Communication between him and his ex partner was fractured, one of the reasons for the difficulty with contact, and most conversations between the parents went through the maternal gran. Due to Iain’s low confidence he was too anxious to take his child out alone and spent his contact time in the ex partners flat where the atmosphere was understandably quite tense.
Initially the sessions involved our Family Worker going with Iain one afternoon per week for his contact time to ensure that hand over was less stressful for both parents. He was able to help Iain to use his time with his child to its fullest, finding activities and places to go nearby. This really increased his confidence as a parent when out with his child, both with practical care such as changing nappies and knowing what activities would be suitable for a toddler.
Our family worker continued to support and build trust with Iain over the following months and at one session he admitted to our worker that he was currently homeless and had been living in a tent out of the city for almost a year. Iain was reluctant to make use of temporary accommodation because of past experiences, but we were able to work with him and the team at the Rock Trust to build his confidence up and he accepted a place in an apartment in a nearby town.
We also discovered that another huge worry for Iain was that his name was not on his daughter's birth certificate meaning he had no legal rights and responsibilities for her. He felt enormous pressure that if he didn’t act in a certain way his ex partner would stop him from seeing his daughter. Following the support from Dads Rock his ex partner could see that Iain’s increased confidence and commitment to keep regular contact was beneficial to their daughter. She now felt he should have rights to his child and the two parents signed a Rights and Responsibilities Agreement, cementing Iain’s place in his child’s life.
After 20 months, Iain is now taking full days out with his daughter and his ex partner is now happy that he can take care of her on his own. She has written a letter stating her intent to allow him overnight contact once he has suitable accommodation and our Family Worker is helping him with the process of finding a suitable 2 bedroom property. This means he will soon be able to look after his daughter overnight sometimes.
Dads Rock - Nov 2022 (Young Dads name changed for story)